And I already spent two hours last night searching for handbags online.
This makes me sound like more of a shopper than I really am. The truth is I'm a bargain hunter. I want the most for my money, and I want my money to speak my politics.
That's why I was at least looking at vegan/eco-friendly handbags from
Urban Expressions and
Reveal. I went so far as to put one ruby red beauty in my virtual shopping cart, applied the discount... and closed my laptop.
I'm not going to buy it.
Neither is my sister. We made a pact to see if we could go an entire year without purchasing anything new. Now clearly that doesn't apply to consumables (and presumably underwear), but otherwise I'm trying to stick to this promise.
Like many Americans, I indulge in retail therapy. After an innervating day at work yesterday, all I wanted was to feel the excitement of ordering a new goody, eagerly awaiting its arrival, if for no other reason than just to supplant the feelings of isolation at my job. The logic follows as so: Even if the ladies I work with hate me, they couldn't possibly hate such a cute purse.
That's not really true either. I was just shopping to make myself feel better because I am unhappy at work. And that's a lousy reason to contribute to the collective consumerist attitude that pervades our first world culture.
I really don't need anything. I'd like a pan to bake bread in, but that's about it. I am overflowing with shoes, clothes, bags, jewelry. I now even find I'm overflowing in furniture. For the first time in my life, I have my own little apartment, and my darling friends helped furnish my new digs with a great couch, a shabby chic dresser, and several cool shelves. I bought myself a vintage bedroom set off of
Craigslist. It's a gorgeous blonde modern trio with a tall dresser, sleek vanity, and asymmetrical nightstand.
The bedroom set represents what my sister and I really believe: Chances are whatever things you need/want already exist, and someone is probably looking to get rid of it. Why not give it a new home and save the planet while you're at it? Well-made, long lasting pieces like my bedroom set have often been abandoned because they come from estate sales where families just didn't have room for another set of furniture. Their loss is my gain, and I can gain without feeling guilty for contributing to the harrowing
"stuff" problem facing our world.
When I think about the fact that the U.S. consumes 30% of the world's resources, I feel just awful. It's almost paralyzing because I know full well how much I already contribute to that. I have car. I live alone. I hope someday to have a child. All of those things place a strain on already strained natural resources.
But I try, as I said before, to let my politics speak through my purchases. When I moved, I bought my bed and table off of Craigslist. I snagged a cute chair from the
Habitat for Humanity ReStore. With a little help from another friend, I converted the dresser given me into a cabinet that houses my cat box, cat food, and cat litter. Who says American ingenuity is dead??
No matter how many boxes of organic cotton panty liners or compostable garbage bags I buy, I can't offset my carbon footprint if I continue to purchase stuff.
Twenty-four days in, and I've already failed.
I was at Target, the shopaholic's equivalent of an alcoholic's all-you-can-drink wrist band. Target just seems... cool. Hell, my mother calls it "Tar-jay Boutique." I've gotta hand it to their marketing people. You'd think we were all buying the latest iPods, but instead we're flocking to stores to stock up on toilet paper and Mr. Coffee makers. (I share fellow blogger Michelle K. Collins'
Target sentiments.)
Image aside, Target often has great prices on essentials, and their grocery department has particularly good deals on natural brands like
Kashi,
Cascadian Farm, and
Mother's.
Plus I had a gift card.
I started in the accessories department, checking out the clearance items (who pays full price for anything?), and before long I'd picked up a purse size umbrella (at half-price) and kept holding onto it. After all, who needs a basket or a cart when you're not buying anything?
I wandered into the Intimates section, searching for a cotton bra to wear during my summer travels (Note to readers: don't backpack across Europe with synthetic fiber undergarments. You will regret it. And note to bra manufacturers: If you can come up with a 34D cotton/spandex non-sports bra, I will love you forever.).
I spent a long time contemplating socks. I have maybe half a dozen pairs of bamboo/rayon socks, but they quickly slide into the heel of my shoes, so I was looking for replacements. Every pair at this particular Target was made in China, which I steer clear of because of human rights offenses in that nation. I abandoned socks and moved on to other aisles.
Aimlessly wandering to kill time on my break, I looked at cashews, at photo frames, at Armor All and suitcases. Pretty much anything I could have occasion to use I can find at Target. If I didn't leave soon, I knew I'd walk out with a lot less resolve than I went in with.
It was too late.
I could justify the umbrella purchase by saying that it's a whopping 15 degrees outside today, and should this cold spell turn into sleet as it did last week, I would be prepared without having to add a bunch of weight to my bag.
But really, I have two umbrellas--one in my car, and one in my closet. I didn't really need a third one. Before I even got out of the car, I tore the tag off! What's wrong with me?? I could have returned it!
I had really fallen prey to the promises of retail therapy. And although I did get a great deal on it, I bought something I didn't need. And I didn't feel that much better.
Somehow, I did refrain from buying hangers at Target, something I legitimately could use as I have three dresses I bought at the thrift store right after Christmas still folded on my dresser. I remembered that someone on
Freecycle was giving 50 plastic hangers away and reminded myself to post a wanted ad when I got home.
This morning, I began this blog. I hope it helps me stay honest about the pact with my sister, and I hope its readers will be inspired to consume less and reuse more. I hope to post resources on lower impact living and to keep myself motivated to find creative solutions to my every day problems. This is also a trial run for a new year's resolution to write for an hour every day.
Sounds like I have a lot to work on.
